Sandralicious

Montag, September 12, 2005

Of insecurities and boring hair.

Everyone's insecure in one way or another. One minute you're driving happily along this road called life, and the next you come to a halt, for a rather sizable rock is blocking. Blocking your way, blocking your view of things, people, blocking the flow of positive emotions and the activity of events that follows in the norm. This is how i imagine insecurity to be like. You can choose to ignore the problem by driving around the rock, but if you do, the road becomes looped, and you'll still have to face it again, indefinitely, so you'll never really move on till u confront the problem head-on.

Yes i do know, some things are easier said than done. I proclaim proudly to most people that i've never been and am not one to dwell on insecurites. That is true, i have the greatest fear of confrontation, so i just choose to drive around it. I tell them that i'm strong and very much unbreakable. That is also true, just that people forget that sometimes the strongest person also needs to cry.

It still terrifies me to no end when people come up to me in the streets and the first sentence that comes out of their mouth includes the word "Sandralicious". One of my insecurities are that people might not like how i look in real life. Its silly , i know. Why wouldn't they? I do not think i'm unattractive. I am almost certain i was recognised twice at Wala last sat, a guy came up to me and told me that he knows me in a way, to which my eyebrows shot up to my hairline. I nodded awkwardly and gave a shy smile. There was another who stared at me throughout the whole of the 2nd set. Weird guy. If u're reading this, say hi the next time k?

There was once when i was just an low profile blogger, when my small but yet friendly pool of audience did not care much for how i looked, a sharp contrast to the critics i get now, scrutinizing everything about me, right down to the last pimple on my cheek. That was a time when i did not hesititate in posting multiple narcissistic pictures in every entry, for i know we shared a mutual understanding - It's fun, and where's the harm in that?

Everybody blogs for different purposes - some blog to share and educate, others write to record their thoughts, and the rest do it just to gain a sense of belonging. Nobody, and least of all non-bloggers, should judge who's doing blogging right and who's not. To those people out there, damn you, for my confidence was once shaken by your nasty comments. If u're so clever, go set up a blog and tell the whole world how much of a smart ass you are. Don't shite at my pretty pink blog. I won't allow that.

(i love the rest of u guys who've been reading and commenting consistently. :) )

On a lighter note,