Donnerstag, Juli 07, 2005
Get your 30 seconds of fame.People call your blog infantile.
You think it's cute.
(infant = baby = cute what)
You can't string 5 words together without making grammatical mistakes.
Friends laugh at your blog, they say you write like an 8 year old.
You helped your 8 year old nephew write his composition.
His English teacher called the next day.
He got an F.
But you want to be famous, even if its just for a while. It's possible. Here's how. :)
1. Be seen with Blogebrities.
Success is sometimes measured by proximity to fame. So, hang with the right crowd.
This guy is pretty good looking, but still, no.
This is not a blogebrity, u doofus. He's a clown.
Cannot see face: -10 pts.
Make-up too white: -20 pts.
Blogebrity tries to shoot himself while taking a photo with you: -30 pts.
He's smiling while at it: +50 pts.
Perfect. His shoulders are almost touching my boobs: +300 points
2. Sex sells.
Dare to bare. It helps if you're attractive. If you're not, go to pointer 4. Or at least, make silly faces to entertain the audience.
It works, be it the constipated look...
or the tushee.
3. Remember, you're a busy bumblebee.
Example:
"Geez, it's been such a busy week. Between work and social engagements, i can hardly find the time to breathe."
Translation:
"I've been trying all week to break my Grand Theft Auto personal best. It's tough work. You know, I almost succeeded yesterday. It got me so excited, i almost stopped breathing."
So you see, you don't have to be actually busy. The point is to always look busy even if you're sitting on yr ass munching on Cheetos and playing Xbox all day.
4. For Heaven's sake, learn photoshop.
It's okay. Facial flaws, everybody has them. Anything and Anyone can look attractive with photoshop.
Let's see. Hmmm
1.Eyes too small.
2. Lips too pale.
TADAH!!!!! Ok i suck at photoshop. But you get the idea.
Okay that's all for now. I'm quite busy you know. :P
P.S: This post was inspired by OneLittleTwit dearest, who's currently in Canada. I miss you babe. Drink yr ass off for me :)
Something to say? =)
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