Mittwoch, Juni 29, 2005
Me.If there is one thing i hate, it's people telling me to take life with a pinch of salt. "Heck care lah", they say.
"Don't be too angry, don't get too sad."
"Just relax and smile, lidat live life then shiok mah."
GRRRRRRR. Call me anal, I care about a hell lot of things. And i like it that way. I'm passionate about the things that i do, the people around me. When people do me wrong, i wish to feel anger seething in my chest like a growing monster. The desperate longing to explode and instill fear in everyone, the desire is overwhelming.
Occasionally I crave for the emotional lump in my throat that rises to the back of my mouth, just like it did when my uncle passed away last month. Not that i wasn't devastated, i so was very, but I held back the tears that threatened to fall freely down my face. I don't like to cry; i can be anything but weak. Sometimes experiencing devastation in its truest and deepest form can be simple yet liberating. I know, for i tasted it, as i bit my lips cuttingly as they closed the lid on the coffin.
Blood never tasted sweeter.
For now, i'm very tired. Physically, emotionally, whatever.
I cannot remember the last time i was this tired.
But as tired as i am, i still give a shite.
I'm making myself more tired than i have ever been; i'm crashing into everyone and everything.
And that, is the only way i know how to live.
[Haloscan is acting weird these days. No. of comments is displayed at 1 no matter how many i have.]
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